News Tarts

I recently wrote a memo which made reference to Newstart - a lovely euphemism for our good ol' welfare friend, the dole. My routine slap on the F7 key uncovered the following:



This sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed, hence todays list.....

The News Tarts

1. Paris Hilton, natch. No explanation needed
   
2. Todd Russell. Two weeks underground makes for an extra long fifteen minutes, don't it? May qualify for first spot but Paris would claw his eyes out for it.
   
3. Stuart Diver. Two days underground, see Todd Russell
   
4. Shane Warne. Or maybe he's just a common everyday tart?
   
5. Jordan. News slapper.
   
6. Angelina Jolie. United nations schmations. What does she actually do?
   
7. Osama Bin Laden. Never seen, but always reported on...
   
8. Kim Beasley. Thinks he's one of those ALP leaders that can be entertainment if he can't be a useful politician. He's neither. He's the tart even the fat kids won't sink their teeth into.
   
9. Tom Cruise. Jumping on the couch does not make you adorable.
   
10. Nicole Kidman. Less of you, more of Keith.
    
11. George W. Bush. Not strictly a tart, but would be for his own benefit to have less quotes in the media.
    

I'm sure there's more, but they are probably sidebars next to this lot.