obsession: count the ways

We recently journeyed to Adelaide for Kylie Minogue's Showgirl: Homecoming tour. It was marvellous, but that's not the point of this list. I elected to leave my laptop at home, it was only an overnight journey and I decided I could live without it. But, alas, I was once again misguided. Hence, I present

Reasons I needed my laptop on the Kylie trip

1. To determine the number of different frocks in Kylie's 'Hand on your Heart' video.
   
2. To determine the frequency of ABC radio for bushfire information
   
3. To not have to listen to ABC radio for bushfire information
   
4. To write this blog entry
   
5. To write the blog entry for singstar naff, singstar musicals, etc
   
6. To upload our Kylie photos and have a good look at them
   
   
   

There were nine, but not having my laptop to write them all right away has caused me to forget them.

Christmas Chraziness

While I was sitting in the police station yesterday, waiting to make a statement (long story, not going there. Suffice to say it would not be anywhere near my list of 'Top 10 Experiences of 2006'.), I made a list of lists. It went like this:

Christmas lists:
- cards
- packing
- to do
- gifts
Robbie - packing
- to do
Bills to pay.

So far, as a result of this list, I have:

• got the Christmas card list out (extremely anal/OCD notebook of names and addresses and records of sent and received Christmas cards for last 8 years), looked at it, counted how many leftover cards I had from last year and left it on the coffee table in the lounge.
• thought about Robbie and Melbourne and how much fun that will be.

Why there's been no lists for a while...

1. Fried brain due to overloaded social calendar (really)
   
2. Insane addiction to Australian Idol
   
3. A waning of excitement following the honeymoon period
   
4. A new job for six weeks, which commenced just after the last post on 19/8, using up entirety of headspace
   
5. Listlexia – a condition disabling the brain’s ability to associate objects with one another and formulate lists as a result
   
6. It’s spring, I’ve been gardening instead.
   
7. Lots of people had a birthday
   
8. We are just plain lazy
   

Anyway, things are going to be better at the Itlist, don’t worry. We'll be making up lists, and checking them twice, some will be naughty, some will be nice.....

L.

Things I Love

Or, Just call me Maria Von Trapp

This is a very long list, but it's full of good things that I love:

• my family
• my friends
• lists
• hearing an obscure 80s song for the first time in ages
• reading a good book with a cat on my lap
• playing Singstar and drinking bubbly
• cheese, especially King Island (Seal Bay) Triple Cream Brie, White Castello and the Kylie Cheese*.

• waking up on a sunny weekend morning and knowing I don't have to do any actual 'work'.
• playing and watching my girls play hockey
• hand-knitted socks
• check flick movie fest, with appropriate amounts of ONJ, bubbly, popcorn and chocolate.
• my ipod (earbud) headphones and the way they make the music sound like it's playing right in my head.
• my cats Tildy and Buffy
• camping
• listening to Robbie and Kylie, drinking bubbly and eating cheese
• an afternoon sleep
• discovering a new author who has written lots of books e.g. Janet Evanovich
• going to the beach - anytime but especially in summer when I can swim, bodyboard, read, drink diet Coke, walk along the edge of the water, fossick for shells and other flotsam and jetsam.
• musicals and musical soundtracks - currently High School Musical
• hanging out with my parents now they're not the boss of me
• hot turkish bread and extra extra virgin olive oil
• blogs that mock as well as inform - especially Go Fug Yourself, Celebritology, and The Superficial.
• handbag shopping
• polarfleece almost anything
• really GOOOOOOD Italian coffee e.g. as made by Frank at Cafe Capri
• Haigh's dark chocolate truffles
• making traditions out of things by doing them more than once e.g. Christmas pageant viewing from the window of Cafe Luna (will be Vanilla Bean this year, tres excitement) and Australia Day beach ritual and JJJ's Hottest 100 party!

*The Kylie cheese was bought at the Adelaide Central Markets in June 2005. It was going out cheap as it had been bought in specially to supply Kylie Minogue and her entourage during the Adelaide leg of Kylie's Showgirl tour! As we all know, Kylie was diagnosed with breast cancer and postponed her Australian dates. Because the trip to Adelaide had been to see Kylie, it seemed only right to buy her cheese. It was French. And it was delicious.

it's a wiki, wiki world

Received a list of songs about hair via email recently. I checked with the sender as to where they'd found the list (knew them well enough to know they'd not compiled it themselves). It came from wikipedia, so i did a quick check.

The list of songs about hair is cute...

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE......

For mega list joy, check out the list of songs about a topic , which is a mighty friend to the list obsessed.

And, whaddaya know, there's a list of songs with lists in the lyrics , which is almost going too far, even for me.

But I don't need to list the lists. Try it yourself.

ps. I tried to go away and leave this post, but went a little mental when i saw the Dynamic Lists and had to share. Weeeeee!

Eat me, Oprah

Oprah Winfrey is fat again, and claims that there are foods that she simply cannot stop eating once she starts. In her honour, here is the list of....

Things I cannot stop eating once I start

1. cheese. it could have its own sublist. it could have its own blog.


2. chips. or as the Brits would call them, crisps. fat and salt, yeah.


3. peanut m and m's. but only the peanut variety. anything else i can take it or leave it.


4. jelly beans.


5. anything that is mopping up gravy - could be bread, mashed potato, etc. I think i mean i can't stop eating gravy


6. fat-free, wheat-free, gluten-free soy health thingos.


7. number 6 was a lie. could you tell?


8. mettwurst


9. hot roast chicken


10. cashews


11. peanut butter straight from the jar


12. olives


13. artichoke hearts


14. liquorice - inability to stop eating this is probably a bad thing

i'm off for a snack now......

Tips for Restauranteurs

Some helpful style/service suggestions for wait staff in a restaurant/cafe:

1. Don't keep asking me if I want another drink - alcoholic or otherwise. If I want it, I can ask.
2. Don't hover at our table, pouring top-ups into our wine glasses from our bottle. It's our bottle, we can pour it. Plus, if we're having one of those (rare) nights when we care about how much we're drinking, it's hard to keep track when you do that.
3. Don't come up and ask me, halfway through the meal, and ask 'is everything OK here?' Assume it is. Know that if it's not all OK, I'll tell you.
4. Don't come around waving that massive phallic pepper grinder over my meal.
5. Don't whisk my plate away the moment I've finished eating, especially if the other people on my table are still eating. That's just rude.
6. Ask me if I want coffee or another drink as soon as you take my plate away. Don't make me try to flag you down like a taxi. Or look around for a phone number so I can call you to place an order.
7. Don't get all defensive and make excuses if you or someone else stuffs up. Just apologise and fix it.

Of course, none of these rules apply if you're Hott Brian. Then, feel free to do whatever.

For additional brownie points, feel free to pretend to be Captain Jack Sparrow. Especially you, Brian.

Things I'd like for my birthday

Not intended as any kind of shopping list/gift register. More like the wish list....

1. Time - the ultimate thing that you kinda can't buy.
   
2. A lime tree
   
3. And a lemon tree
   
4. All the other bits to make my lovely little citrus sitting down relaxing corner of the world
   
5. More Ally McBeal DVDs than you can poke a micromini at
   
6. Around a zillion dollars of Itunes store credit
   
7. And a zillion dollars of dollars
   
8. A night with Robbie Williams. For conversation only, of course.
   
9. A holiday in the sun. Robbie can come to that, too.
   
10. Singstar Rocks! Without the glitches, please
    
11. Bubbles, and other happy beverages
    
12. Cheese. Please.
    
13. A night with Johnny Depp. And the other pirates...
    
    

I'm gonna add to this one, as the day draws closer.

v1.2 Drilling down to detail

Upon researching our first ever post (songs with a city in the title, check it out yea), research uncovered that some songs actually contained a beach name rather than a city name. So here goes, the extraordinarily specialised.....

Songs With a Beach in the Title

1. Echo Beach - Martha and the Muffins.
   Who says it's not real? I believe it's real.
   
   
2. The Girl from Ipanema - loads of folks sing it.
   Ipanema is just one beach in party city Rio de Janiero...
   
   
3. Copacobana - Barry Manilow.
   .....whaddaya know, Copacabana is another.
   
   
4. Malibu - Hole
   Most boring Hole song ever I think.
   
   
5. Blacktown to Bondi - Mental as Anything.
   Increasing obscurity proves that Google ability can outshine actual knowledge at 1000 paces. But it was on Spicks and Specks once.
   
   
6. Beatnik Beach - The Go-Gos.
   Located somewhere near Echo Beach, but with more turtleneck sweaters.
   
   
7. Brighton Rock - Queen
   If only the Poms knew what nice beaches were really like!
   
   
8. Kokomo - The Beach Boys
   There had to be a Beach Boys song, didn't there. Thanks Liamscriam!!
   
   

I know there are more, but quite honestly I've lost interest. After all, I've a more exciting to follow......

Watch this space!

Some Annoying Things about Revenge of the Sith

Although I have loved the Star Wars franchise from a tender age, there are still some things about Revenge of the Sith that annoy the crap out of me. And I think ROTS is the best of the three prequels.

Thus: 'The MOST Annoying things about 'Star Wars III, Revenge of The Sith', a by no means comprehensive list'

1. The enormous leap the viewer has to make to believe that sooky sooky lala Mr Petulant Anakin somehow transmogrifies into the poster boy for evil, Darth Vader, and all for love!
2. The way the former QUEEN Amidala and current Senator of the Republic, Padme, moons about the flat waiting for Mr Petulant to come home when she should be off quashing evil foes in her own right.
3. Anakin's greasy hair - could he wash it, or even comb it?
4. The fact that none of the characters eat, anything, ever!
5. That nobody cottons on to the striking similarity between the evil Emperor dude and the Chancellor, amazing what a good hoody can do as a disguise.
6. No subtitles for the Wookiee speech - we STILL don't know what they're on about.*
7. Padme's cardboard pregnancy tummy - looks like a giant egg carton segment. Less convincing than Katie Holmes'.
8. Padme's ridiculous, uncomfortable clothing. I know, the last time I wore 6 metres of fake pearls on my nightie I nearly strangled the cat!

*When I was a kid, living in Florida, I saw a TV show called 'A Very Wookiee Christmas' or something similar. It had subtitles, or maybe it was dubbed, becos the whole show took place on the Wookiee home planet when Chewbacca went home to see his family (Wookiee kids are way cute) and Han Solo and Luke Skywalker dropped in with gifts. Or maybe I dreamt it.

Nope, it's real. Thanks Google, for http://www.locusmag.com/2005/Features/0401_StarWarsDVD.html

News Tarts

I recently wrote a memo which made reference to Newstart - a lovely euphemism for our good ol' welfare friend, the dole. My routine slap on the F7 key uncovered the following:



This sort of thing doesn't go unnoticed, hence todays list.....

The News Tarts

1. Paris Hilton, natch. No explanation needed
   
2. Todd Russell. Two weeks underground makes for an extra long fifteen minutes, don't it? May qualify for first spot but Paris would claw his eyes out for it.
   
3. Stuart Diver. Two days underground, see Todd Russell
   
4. Shane Warne. Or maybe he's just a common everyday tart?
   
5. Jordan. News slapper.
   
6. Angelina Jolie. United nations schmations. What does she actually do?
   
7. Osama Bin Laden. Never seen, but always reported on...
   
8. Kim Beasley. Thinks he's one of those ALP leaders that can be entertainment if he can't be a useful politician. He's neither. He's the tart even the fat kids won't sink their teeth into.
   
9. Tom Cruise. Jumping on the couch does not make you adorable.
   
10. Nicole Kidman. Less of you, more of Keith.
    
11. George W. Bush. Not strictly a tart, but would be for his own benefit to have less quotes in the media.
    

I'm sure there's more, but they are probably sidebars next to this lot.

Things to do on a Saturday afternoon

1. have a sleep
   
2. have another sleep
   
3. sleep a bit more
   

Okay, now here's the list of things to do, if you are not a man.

1. Go outside and play in the garden
   
2. Write yourself a dumb list on blogger
   
3. Roll around the floor laughing with your children
   
4. Mow the lawn
   
5. Make some toast
   
6. Have a beer
   
7. Write an email to your friend on the other side of the world
   
8. Download The Grates on itunes
   
9. Pretend you are James in the hockey skit
   

This may or may not be an actual reflection of my afternoon. The joys of sporting byes!

Early 90s hotties suitable for enthronement as guru in pregnant women's commune

This list comes from a special place - the Robbie place. As a response to the new Robbie Williams 'Sin Sin Sin' video, we were talking about his suitability for guru-status and who else would have been suitable in the early 90s when he was just a "fat dancer" from Take That (thanks, Noel Gallagher).

In no particular order:
1. Patrick Swayze (he was way spiritual in Point Break, and there was the whole Ghost thing)
2. Johnny Depp
3. Keanu Reeves
4. River Phoenix
5. Jon bon Jovi
6. Bryan Adams
7. Kurt Cobain

Was thinking about Tom Cruise - in the context of the early 90s, but in true post-post-modernist fashion, can't get past the current craziness and possible fake pregnancy and/or knocking up of suddenly single starlet.

CRAZY songs

Be cool, relax, you know these songs - they are full of CRAZY for one reason or another....

1. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
2. Crazy - Simple Plan
3. Crazy - Patsy Cline
4. Crazy - Usher
5. Crazy - Aerosmith
6. Crazy - Seal*
7. Crazy for You - Madonna
8. Crazy in Love - Beyonce Knowles
9. She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals
10. (You drive me) Crazy - Britney Spears**
11. Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen

*Have discovered Alanis Morissette credited with a Crazy, too. It's the Seal song, she gets no kudos for it. Nuffin. Sorry Alanis. And we know you're whiney, but don't tell us. It's not your song.
**Fashionable Disclaimer: This was an ACCIDENT! We do not support any listening to Britney for any reason, this song was discovered while confirming the correct title of the FYC song! Listening to Britney may harm your health. But you knew that.

Some other songs with cities in the title

21. Santa Monica - Savage Garden
22. Philadelphia Freedom - Elton John
23. New York State of Mind - Billy Joel
24. Rio - Duran Duran
25. Tenterfield Saddler - Peter Allen
26. I Left My Heart in San Francisco - Roy Drusky*
27. Detroit Rock City - Kiss
28. Jackson - Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash
29. Knutsford City Limits - Robbie Williams
30. Funkytown - Lipps Inc.
31. Atlantic City - Bruce Springsteen (added 20/5/06)
32. Ain't Gonna Play Sun City - Simple Minds (also added 20/5/06, the subconscious is a glorious thing)

*This guy was crazy for place names in songs. Lyrics on Demand also credits him with 'Abilene', 'Battle of New Orleans', 'By The Time I Get to Phoenix', 'Chattanooga Shoeshine Boy', 'Detroit City', 'El Paso', 'Kansas City', 'Memphis Morning', 'Saginaw Michigan', and a lovely little ditty called 'Far Away Places'!

Songs with a city name in the title

1. Viva Las Vegas - Elvis Presley
2. LA Woman - The Doors
3. Leaving Las Vegas - Sheryl Crow
4. New York, New York - Frank Sinatra
5. London Calling - The Clash
6. Do You Know the Way to San Jose - Burt Bacharach
7. San Francisco (Flowers in Your Hair) - Scott McKensie
8. Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn
9. Tennessee - Arrested Development - oops a state not a city - thanks Liamscriam
10. Moscow - The Village People
11. Istanbul - They Might Be Giants
12. Chicago - Frank Sinatra
13. I Go to Rio - Peter Allen
14. St Kilda to Kings Cross - Paul Kelly
15. Old School Hollywood - System of a Down
16. Road to Mandalay - Robbie Williams
17. One Night in Bangkok* - Frankie Goes to Hollywood
18. Detroit City Blues - Fats Domino
19. Brighton Rock - Queen
20. No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

All right, we know there's more than 20! Post your comments to add songs to this list...

*Trivia joy: One Night in Bangkok features in the musical Chess, penned by Bjorn Ulvaeus and Benny Anderson, of ABBA fame!